Don't Tell Me Where the Door Is, I already Know
by sweet-and-simple
Summary: What the story doesn't mention is that there are two children raising a baby, trying to figure out how it ever happened and wondering if it ever should have. Baby makes two, add one, and it might equal three if they can pull themselves together.


Gai wasn't a strategist, but he wasn't an idiot either. He let the ups and downs of life twist and curl around his goals and that constituted for his future plans. If something went wrong or something went right, that was okay – it didn't go against anything he was ready for because he kept himself ready for anything.

Except this.

This was… unexpected. Unexpected was an understatement, actually, because 'unexpected' didn't mean 'impossible' and that was exactly what this was. But it had happened and the proof was in his arms, so it _couldn't_ be impossible.

Impossible implied that something was not possible, that it could never be, that no circumstances could bring about such an outcome.

Gai's hands trembled. For the sake of his… burden? No, that was too harsh. Bundle? It was quite the package, precious and fragile and, _oh Gods_, it was breathing.

He forced himself still. Even his heart stopped.

Then, slowly, he sighed.

It had happened. It was done with.

He swallowed thickly and tears blinded him. "Hello, my… my son." He paused. He was never the hesitant kind. He was not known for being quiet. He was the loud, boisterous kind – a creature all his own species, with all of his own strengths, with all of his own shields and decoys.

But the… the _unexpected_ left him lost and more than confused.

"You're my son," he told himself as well as the bundle. "I'm your…"

_Mother_.

"Father."

_IT'S UNYOUTHFUL TO LIE TO YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD_.

"I…"

Didn't know what to say.

He looked blankly around him. He had made a mess of his bed. There was blood and afterbirth and bodily waste. His body felt empty and his backside screamed in pure agony at the duty it had been unceremoniously assigned.

He should have run for the hospital at the first contraction. It would have been in his best interests, he knew, as his world fell in and out of focus. Women were made for this sort of thing and they still had difficulty with doing such a task alone.

Instead, he took a corner of the towel he had wrapped around the infant and wiped away at his alien face. The baby was wet, a sickly white plasma clinging to his small body.

When Gai had cleared his airways, a sort of numb first reaction that went along the lines of _Oh, it needs to breathe_, he had released a mighty roar of welcome to the world. And then he had fallen silent. Carefully, cautiously silent. His eyes were large, but still closed, his nose straight and tiny, and tufts of black hair clung to his not fully developed skull.

His tiny, balled fists were held on his flat chest. He took quiet breaths, quiet, breathy little sighs, and his bow-shaped mouth formed a small 'o'.

It wasn't until the baby started fussing that Gai realized what the child – _his_ child – wanted.

"You're hungry." He could hear his own shock.

Of course babies would get hungry, he told himself numbly. They were… babies. They couldn't feed themselves. They were small and powerless. They needed help.

"I don't have anything to feed you," he told his infant.

The child – _his_ – calmed down. Little sniffles quieted back to silence.

_He's reacting to my voice_, he rationalized.

_He knows I'm in pain._

_He's being good for me._

Not an hour old and his child was understanding him.

His chest tightened.

"What do I do with you?"

Could he keep him? He could still follow his dreams, in time, because he wouldn't let anything stand in the way of that. And he could deal with awkward questions, the _Where's his mother?_ And the _So you're a single parent?_ pity looks and _But you're too young!_ exclamations. He had dealt with awkward questions all of his life because of his bob and latex suit and mannerisms, and well, because of everything he was and believed in, really.

And it wasn't that he didn't like kids. He loved them. He loved their youth and their passion and their innocence. He loved watching them grow stronger every day and he thought their tiny band aides for their tiny owies was one of the most adorable things on the planet.

But then he was left with a child. This… boy who came from his body, against the laws of nature and reality and physiology and anatomy. This boy was his. And he was his… mother.

He, a man. A mother.

His throat closed on him.

He had no clue how long he would need to recuperate. He had put up a mental wall between him and the pain, something he had mastered not too long ago, but the powers of the mind could not convince his body that it had not just been split in two to commit a heinous crime against gender roles.

He had to clean himself up.

He had to clean up his room.

He had to clean up his baby.

His baby had to eat. Or drink.

"I wasn't prepared for you," he told his son. "You were… are an incredible surprise."

When Gai's belly had begun to bulge, just slightly, pregnancy had not been the first thing he had blamed it on. He had changed his diet, he had worked out more, and he had stubbornly ignored every comment made about a chubby man running around in skintight clothing.

Seventeen pounds gained later and he had been in his own world of misery. He hadn't been able to understand why the weight clung to him, why, after an entire life of hiding his stick figure behind muscle definition, he was suddenly _pudgy_.

He tried to look back for any other signs. His diets were always strange and unappealing to other people, so food cravings weren't a good thing to go by. His emotions had been slightly out of control, but not by enough to make himself or others suspicious. He was emotional by definition.

And his belly never really gotten large. There had been a downwards slope and, every once in awhile, he had sensed a faint fluttering. Once or twice, it had felt as if he was having his organs pulverized, but, again – new diet.

His diets always took awhile to adjust to. Even for him. Now he wasn't so sure about what had caused him to feel ill so often.

But, then, his body was a masterpiece of hard work and determination. Thick skin was stretched tight over sleek, powerful, compact muscles. Not a give in sight. So, of course his abdomen had been resistant to stress.

Now that he was reminiscing, he could remember various battles and missions he had gone on. There had been a few cups of sake every now and then, celebrating one success or another. His self-challenges and extreme workout regiment…

His insides went cold.

"How did you even _survive_?" he asked his son.

His baby just puckered his lips.

"I…"

_Am a male._

_That just gave birth to a baby._

"I never even knew you were coming." He chuckled tearfully. "This is a dent to my ego as an up-and-coming taijutsu artist. I'm supposed to know my body inside and out, it's just not acceptable that I didn't know I was…"

His body went tense. Minor contractions pushed against his lower abdomen until he felt something slip through his blood-slickened colon.

It was long and pink and glossy. Bloated and deflated at the same time.

A uterus. His very male body had just dispelled a uterus.

He felt more than a slight touch of hysteria as he stared at it. There were no fallopian tubes attached. It was just a… misshaped balloon. A popped, misshaped balloon that was leaking blood and tissue lining.

As far as he knew, women did not usually expel their wombs.

He turned steadily back to his child. "You really wanted to become part of the world, didn't you?"

His baby's answer was a soft sigh.

He was going to have to clean them up and hope for the best. At one point, he would have to get his son registered. How would that go? Could he simply say that a past lover had left a newborn infant at his doorstep?

No one would believe him. Maito Gai did not _have_ lovers. Maito Gai was too… intense for that. Most would even say too ugly.

Well, he knew they were wrong, and his child proved it, but his child also proved that his past lover had not been a woman.

Could he… Could he put his son up for adoption?

The pain he felt at the very simple, very reasonable suggestion that he had _made to himself_ left him almost paralyzed. It hurt more than giving birth had.

But he tried to think logically about it… for a change. His heart was ignored for what would be the _right_ thing to do.

He was a thirteen-year old boy.

_You are a shinobi! If you have the right to die for your village, you have the right to have a child of your own._

The low-rank missions he went on didn't pay much.

_Other parents have gotten by on less._

He was a _man_.

_No one has to know that you're not his father._

He was so busy with training all the time!

_THAT IS NO EXCUSE!_

He was still in his own YOUTH!

_You should have thought about that before you had sex!_

But that had been his right as a shinobi too, right? No young ninja wanted to go on a D-rank mission, have something happen that suddenly made that D an A, and then die a virgin.

Not that that had been his reasoning.

_You know why you did what you did,_ his conscious snarled. _And this is the result!_

Gai was all about results.

_THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR HAVING UNDERAGED, UNPROTECTED SEX!_

But was it really a punishment?

It was unnatural, unplanned for, unnerving, terrifying, mind-numbing, improbable, _supposed to be impossible_…

Yet…

"You're mine," he told his son selfishly. "You came from _my _body. I'm not giving you up!" He brushed his hand gently along his son's face.

There was another quiet sigh.

"I'll figure it out. This is nothing I can not overcome! You'll see, your papa is very resilient."

But not resourceful, as his son took this as an okay to exercise his tiny lungs and scream his hunger.

Gai flinched at first. Of course babies would scream.

Then he chuckled. "You are definitely my son. Listen to you shout! Ah, but your papa… I think I have to…"

His son rested on his chest, belly down. A few minutes passed before he quieted again, sniffling in upset rejection. One of Gai's hands sat limply on his baby's back.

Gai wouldn't wake back up for hours.

~::~

"Maybe… Maybe it was just someone trying to play on your good will."

Gai leveled what he hoped was a furious glare at the female shinobi. Instead, it came out looking more like a pout from a dejected dog. "But he _is_ my son."

"But he might not be," the ninja, Kurenai, replied. "You're a good guy, one of the best I know. I don't think you could turn anyone away if needed your help."

"But I know he is my son."

"There are paternity tests that you could take."

"KURENAI. What is WRONG with me having a CHILD?" His voice raised and dipped around his furious and hurt words. "I am a vigorous, youthful man with a promising future! I can woo girls! I can, I swear it!"

So why couldn't she meet his eyes?

"Boy. Gai. You're just a boy. And you're better than that. You would know better than to have unprotected sex and we definitely would have heard about it if you had been in a relationship."

She had him there.

He gulped and stared steadily at his feet. He should have carried all of the groceries home himself. But his body still ached and his legs were still shaky and he had dizzy spells. So he had settled for hefting most of the bags and boxes while throwing around the excuse that the last few boxes were too bulky for him to hold with the rest of his groceries.

Who else to help him but the kind and beautiful Kurenai?

"You would be surprised," he mumbled. Then, with greater strength, "I assure you, he is my son." He offered a dashing smile and hoped that it overshadowed the tired bags under his eyes and the hopeless slump of his shoulders. "He has my eyebrows!"

Kurenai's eyes were instantly drawn to his impressive brows. "I'm sure he's very handsome."

"He actually looks like an alien. I'm sure he'll grow to be adorable, though! He _is_ my son, after all."

She looked at him considerately. As if in a whole new light. "You'll make a good father, Gai. One day, a woman of worth is going to see that and snatch you up."

He laughed nervously.

_Father_.

Yes.

That was what he was.

"I'm sure a lucky lady shall one day see me as the catch I am!"

She smiled at him and he returned it with as much enthusiasm as he could force.

Yes, quite the catch he was.

Her eyes drifted past him up the street. Her smile stretched a little further in friendly greeting. "Hello, Kakashi."

Damn, damn, _damn his luck_.

Gai cursed a number of unlucky spirits as he turned on a hundred watt grin and tried to think of a good excuse as to why he was carrying so much baby supplies. "My rival!"

The lazy ninja paused between one step and the next. From looking thoughtlessly at the ground, he turned one inquisitive blue eye on them and then, with slow grace, turned off his own path to swerve idly towards them. He raised one hand and tipped it away from his forehead in a sloppy salute. "Yo."

Gai felt that one eye drift over him with no casual refinement and shuddered. _Don't give yourself away_, he told himself, and smirked with hearty delight. "So you have returned unharmed from your mission! I see that you haven't changed!"

"I was only gone four days." Kakashi shrugged.

Kurenai frowned at him. "Gai, are you alright? You're looking a little pale."

"I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be? It's just a little hot out here."

"It's November," Kurenai said with a touch of suspicion.

"Gai produces an incredible amount of body heat," Kakashi defended him. "He makes for a lousy bed mate during the summer."

Gai flushed darkly.

Kurenai just laughed. "You would know. You two go on quite a few missions together. Or, at least you two used to. What happened to that? I feel like it's been a year since the last time I saw you two walk out of the front gate together."

"Less than nine months," Gai corrected numbly. "Our teamwork is not required to complete every mission."

"Hhmmm…" Kakashi agreed. "So, who's having the baby?"

"Actually," Kurenai said before Gai could even squeak indignantly, "Gai already has the baby. Apparently, an ex-lover dropped off a newborn at his doorstep last night." The disbelief was clear in her voice.

Gai nodded his head vigorously to show that Kurenai spoke the truth, nothing but the truth, and that Kakashi should not stare at him so pointedly. Then he realized he probably looked pretty stupid doing that, so he stopped and merely stared back, every muscle locked in place and eyes impossibly wide.

"An ex-lover?" Kakashi asked.

Gai nodded.

"A woman?"

Gai nodded and blushed brazen red all the way to his roots.

"Interesting."

"Very," he shrilled.

"I see you've lost weight."

"I have."

"At the same time a baby miraculously shows up on your doorstep."

"Quite the coincidence."

"I think I remember who you were with nine months ago," Kakashi went on mercilessly.

"Kurenai, I think I can take the groceries from here."

The woman's head whipped around towards him. She had, apparently, been very sidetracked by trying to determine what Kakashi was getting at. "It's okay, I can –"

"Give. Me. The. Groceries."

Properly cowed by his cold rage, she put the boxes down.

"Thank you for your help, Kurenai."

"Yes, of course. If you need anything else…" Her eyes went from him to Kakashi and then back again. "_Anything_ else…"

"I understand."

She walked away. Albeit slowly, the fall of wavy locks swaying from time to time as if she was looking over her shoulder through the thick tresses.

Gai waited till she was out of earshot before turning on his long-time rival. "Who do you think you _are_?"

"Not think, but know. I'm Hatake Kakashi."

"I am going to my apartment!"

It hurt to hoist up all of his packages on his back. With a full-body jerk, he managed to hold onto everything. To his horror, though, he also felt a trail of blood leak from his bottom.

That was to be expected, he reminded himself. He was still healing inside from having his son. There was nothing wrong with him…

But the spandex clung too tightly to his skin. It was not meant to hide blood stains, especially such stains that were spreading.

"Let me help you," Kakashi offered. "I want to meet… your son."

"Do you think I'm lying? Do you think that he is not my son? Be honest with me, you always have been."

Even when it had broken his heart.

Even when it had shattered his being.

Even when it had killed his self-esteem.

Kakashi had always been honest with him. Where he could lie to others for the sake of their happiness, or just to piss them off, Gai was always the one to truly know and understand the Sharingan-user.

Kakashi sighed. "Gai, we've been over this… That's in the past. I wish it hadn't happened, but it did, and all we can do about it is pretend it never happened. I value your friendship. I don't want a fluke to come between us."

_A fluke_.

"Of course." Gai could not help how bitter he sounded. "Have what you want, Kakashi."

"You're not happy."

"No! No, I am not!" He sucked in a shuddering breath. "But that is my own doing. I put too much faith in you."

It was barely visible, but Kakashi flinched.

"Let me carry something for you. I'd like to meet the kiddo."

"You don't even believe he's mine."

"Unless what we did scared you straight, there's no way he could be yours." Kakashi managed to stack a few boxes in his arms and Gai felt eternally grateful for the less weight he had to carry.

Even as he felt dread for the company he was keeping.

"Funny how some things happen," Gai muttered darkly. "You can walk ahead of me."

"Oh?" One silvery brow went up. "Now, Gai, you don't need an excuse to watch my as-"

"Those jokes are not even funny anymore."

Kakashi looked at him – sadly? – and sighed. Obediently, he walked ahead and Gai was immeasurably thankful that there was no one walking behind him as he followed as quickly as he could.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry it went that far," Kakashi apologized softly.

Gai thought of the child back at his apartment. Things would have turned out so differently had they not done what they had done.

"But you're forgetting that it takes two to tango and I would have stopped if you had said 'no' even once."

Gai flinched. Words bubbled up in his throat and he clenched his teeth to keep them back.

_I do not turn away friends in need_, he thought angrily at Kakashi. _I was not going to turn away a broken man with dead grey eyes! Your eyes are blue, for youth's sake! BLUE. _

"You're right, of course," he said instead. "How pigheaded of me." _To not say anything when you looked like your world was crumbling beneath your feet._

This would have been the moment for perfectly awkward silence.

Except Kakashi ran as fast as he could into keeping the conversation, _a_ conversation, any conversation alive. "What's the boy's name?"

"… Lee. I named him Lee."

"Oh? So he didn't even have a name when he was dumped on your doorstep?"

"What are you implying now?"

"Well, I just don't believe that you could bed a girl who would be so cruel to her own child."

"I am a man full of surprises." _Like that time I let my best friend and greatest rival FUCK ME._

No. He was not going to use that language aloud.

Lee might catch onto it.

It felt like an eternity before they got to his apartment. Gai almost felt as if the gods were smiling down upon him, the fact that the three people that did end up behind him weren't observant enough to notice the mess he had made of his suit.

It wasn't unusual for Gai to come home drenched in sweat and blood and dirt – but the placement of the stain itself would have been disconcerting and he was, for once, completely out of humor and without his usual ability to brush off discomfited tension.

Kakashi paused at his door and looked back at him. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Are you going to unlock the door?"

Then again, those same gods could be mocking him.

They _had_ made him a man capable of carrying a child, after all.

He grumbled and cursed uncharacteristically beneath his breath as he managed to shuffle around his purchases and grab his key. He held it out to Kakashi. "Here."

"I can't do it. My hands are full." There was a flash in Kakashi's one blue eye.

_He knows I'm hiding something. _Gai gulped. _That bastard._

"Right. Just hold on a second…"

He knew the moment Kakashi saw the bloodstain. The tension level went up and the silence was like a vacuum, taking with it all confidence and hope that Kakashi's company would end shortly.

He opened the door and disengaged most of his booby traps. Kakashi had been to his home often enough to know most of them and Gai, though he had thought about it, hadn't changed them since their incident.

He made a beeline for his bedroom and tried to convince himself that Kakashi wasn't a few steps behind him.

He tried to tell himself that leading Kakashi to Lee wouldn't change everything.

It most likely would.

"Gai, I don't know if you know this, but you're bleeding."

"I'm aware!" He thrust open his bedroom door. Then paused.

There was no sounds from within. _Good_. He hadn't woken Lee up.

"Have you gone to the hospital yet?"

"No."

Ningame watched them enter, looking particularly gruff from where he was on the floor. "Are you _trying_ to wake up the hatchling?"

"No!"

Ningame snapped his beak. "Calm yourself. This isn't how you would want your hatchling to act, is it?"

"NO!"

The overgrown turtle glared at him when a wail came from the center of the bed. There was a fort of pillows raised around the source of the screams.

"Now you've done it, young man," Ningame grumbled. With a poof, he was gone.

"Gai, if you don't want to see me, then just say so." Kakashi's single blue eye was a shade of grey again, hard and cold and very, very lonely.

Gai's throat closed. _I can't when you look like that!_ "It's… No. I'm fine."

"You're bleeding. From your a-"

"_It's_. Fine." He didn't want anyone cursing around his son.

Their son.

_How do I do this?_

Kakashi's eye narrowed. "It's fine because…?"

"It's nothing."

"Anal tearing?"

"That is none of your concern!" Lee's cries went up another octave. Gai trembled.

_Please_, he tried to communicate with his son, _please, in the name of all that is youthful, stop. _

Kakashi dropped his purchases on the ground and stepped right over them. "Now what causes anal tearing?"

His voice was low and soft. Dangerous. If Gai had been any less of a man, he might have taken a step back for every step Kakashi took forward.

But Gai was Gai and Gai stood his ground. He was that kind of a guy.

So when Kakashi was close enough that their chests were touching, Gai told himself it was a plus because he was two centimeters taller.

"I can think of one thing," Kakashi answered himself coldly.

"And it's definitely wrong," Gai growled. "Why does it matter to you?"

"It doesn't," Kakashi said offhandedly.

"Then why are you so angry?"

The Sharingan-user actually looked down. "Isn't _your son_ crying?"

Without thinking, he turned on his heel and destroyed the fort. With new-learned gentleness, he lifted his newborn child into his arms.

Lee had his blind eyes open, infant blue and as wide as dinner plates. He looked at the world as if everything was startlingly new.

For him, it most likely was.

He turned around and Kakashi was right. There.

"Maybe he _is_ your son," Kakashi complied as he fingered the glossy black fluff of Lee's hair. "He looks like he has your skin tone."

"He _is_ my son. Move back, I need to give him formula."

Luckily, as soon as he had been able to walk, he had gotten a small container of the powder (Gai had stood in the aisle, staring down at the paper bag and wondering what breed of animal nursed their young with _dry_ milk until a pregnant woman had come along and explained it to him with no lack of amusement). So Lee hadn't had to go starving even when Gai had had to crawl to heat the formula at the stove.

"I'll hold him while you do that." Kakashi opened his arms.

Without thinking about it, he took a defensive step back.

_You're definitely a man, Gai. Why not jump out the window like a true coward while you're at it? Five hundred laps around Konoha on your hands, singing 'Hush, Ninja Star' as punishment!_

"I'll hold him." He kept Lee's face pressed firmly against his chest.

Because Lee's nose was straight and his face was diamond-shaped. His _father's_ traits.

The man who had sired him.

Could Kakashi make the improbable connection or would he think that Gai had slept with a woman who had happened to look somewhat like him?

Then again, would any man's first guess be that he had impregnated another man?

_He should know that Lee is his son as well_, his morals demanded.

_It was just a fluke. Men aren't supposed to get pregnant. He will think I am desperate or crazy or… _

Something.

"C'mon, Gai. It's not like I'll hurt him."

He couldn't really think of a good argument that could throw Kakashi off. And Lee wouldn't stop screaming, he was so hungry, and Gai didn't want to hold him while he stood in front of a burning stove. Cautiously, he handed Lee over.

Kakashi only caught a glimpse of his son's face as he wrapped one arm under Lee and supported his head against his shoulder with the other hand. Lee sobbed and lifted an uncoordinated fist to thump against Kakashi's flak jacket.

Too quickly, Kakashi ripped the child back and stared down at him with mounting horror.

Lee's screams reached another octave at the mistreatment and Gai's heart tripped over himself. "Kakashi!"

"He has my face!" Kakashi yelled, panicked.

_How could I have forgotten? Kakashi is not just any man – he's a true bastard. _"No he doesn't! His eyes are too big and his eyebrows are mine and he got his mouth from my mother and –"

"Gai. He. Has. My. _Face_."

"It's not _entirely_ your face," Gai found himself defending. "Now, hold him right! Gods, Kakashi, don't you know how to hold a baby? You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Lee's distressed wails grew louder as they did. He swung one tiny fist wildly and –

Bopped Kakashi right in the nose.

The two adults stared down at the small bundle of a human being, shocked and astounded.

"That's not possible," was the first thing Kakashi said.

"That's what I thought. And then I gave birth to a baby."

"The bleeding…?"

"I'm guessing that my womb pushed a hole through my colon so that I could deliver him… naturally. Then the womb followed after and…"

"There's a hole in your colon."

"With what has already come out of it, that is the least of my concerns."

"At least all of your other internal organs aren't following after." He stared down at Lee's angry red face for a long moment. Then, tiredly, he put the baby back to his shoulder and ran a soothing hand over his back.

Slowly, Lee settled for whimpering his displeasure.

"How long have you known," Kakashi asked quietly.

"Only since I gave birth to him."

Kakashi looked at him dully. "What did you think it was at first?"

"A very bad choice of diet and stubborn weight."

"Gods, Gai." Kakashi rested his cheek softly against Lee's scalp. The very sight of it made Gai want to cry. "How did he even survive with the way you live?"

"I don't know. But I'm glad he did."

Lee threatened their quiet conversation with a hungry whine.

"Formula. I will go… get that and, er, be right back."

It didn't take nearly as long as he would have hoped for him to heat up a bottle. By the time he came back to his room, Kakashi had sat down on the edge of his bed, Lee in the cradle of his two arms, and was staring down at the infant as if the fact of his existence was too much to handle.

Considering how Lee had come into the world… Gai did not think that too far-fetched.

Feeling that he had to say something, anything, he cried out, "The drive to exist and live was strong with him!"

Kakashi gave him a somber look. "Why did you keep him?"

Gai glared sulkily at him. "He's mine. He's my son, that's all that matters."

"You're his thirteen-year old mother. That should hold some precedence."

Gai flinched. "Why should it? Does it change anything? He's my responsibility, my baby, mine to raise right, mine to love, mine to cherish, mine to spoil, mine to, mine to…" Panting, he searched for the word. There had to be a good word, a _righteous_ word, a passionate one –

"Bottle?"

"YES! Wait, _what_? What does a bottle have to do with an- oh." He held up the formula for all to see. Then, feeing rather stupid, he handed it over.

Kakashi teased the nipple around Lee's lips till the infant opened his mouth and accepted the fake teat. He sighed with infant glee and his fists weaved in the air for a moment before flopping back against his chest.

Gai's heart shattered into a thousand swollen pieces.

Kakashi would have made a good father.

Would have.

Gai forced his hands to stop shaking. "What do you want, Kakashi?"

The Sharingan-user looked up at him, bemused. "I'm sorry?"

"Now that you know about Lee, what will you do?"

"… You expect me to say it's not my problem and walk out the door, don't you?"

"I expect you to say that there's no room for a child in your life. Especially one that's the result of a fl-"

"Please." Kakashi's voice was quiet and fragile. "Don't throw my own words back at me."

Gai put his hands on his hips. Unsatisfied, he crossed his arms over his chest. High on adrenaline, he spun on the boxes and bags and began pulling everything out.

There was a bleach white changing table, a sturdy wooden green crib, a mobile with shuriken and kunai hanging from it that sung a tune to the _Fighter's Lullaby_, a diaper trash can, diapers, cartons of formula, baby clothes, tissues, baby shampoo, some neat little learning toys he had seen…

Done setting up the changing table and halfway through the crib, he stopped. "In such a situation as this, I would be forcing you to take responsibility for the life you helped create. Everyone must account for their own stupidity at one time or another."

"But this shouldn't have been _possible_, Gai. Men don't give birth."

"Which is exactly why I'm giving you one chance to walk away." Gai's morals shouted at him for that.

_He said it himself – it takes two to tango. Who is he to drop the dance before the song ends?! HE SHOULD HAVE HAD PROTECTION ON!_

But protection wasn't top priority to have on a mission. And, even though it was smart to wear protection anyway, two consenting males had considerably less reason to worry about it.

At least, Gai hadn't felt a reason to worry about it. He'd been clean after all. _Virgin_, really.

Not that Kakashi knew that.

Or, maybe, he did.

But that wasn't a reason to keep Kakashi there either. Gai had consented. He had willingly given himself to a broken man and hoped that, somehow, the physical release would draw the shards that was Hatake Kakashi back together.

Kakashi was staring at him. "You would raise him… alone."

"The story is already going around that he was left at my doorstep," Gai explained. "I have the perfect opening to being a single parent."

"Why would you do that?"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHY I WOULD DO IT! Just. Make. Your. Choice."

Lee sputtered around the teat and then wailed. Instantly, his face was beet red and his tiny fists and tiny feet kicked and punched at the air. He was the picture of discontentment, and Kakashi stared at him in complete silence.

Slowly, Kakashi put the bottle aside.

Gai stood up, prepared to take Lee from him if Kakashi did decide to just walk away.

Then, gingerly, touching paper-thin skin with a flutter of motion, Kakashi smoothed his fingertips down Lee's cheek. "I'm not leaving."

Something… miraculous happened. Something painful and beautiful and heartrending.

Kakashi bent over Lee, pulling him into his chest, and his knees came up to be near level with his face.

It was as if he was trying to envelope their son in a ball of protection, using his own body as a shield against the world and all of its cruelties and fine print contracts.

The stillness that overcame him was chilling.

Outside of the protected world Kakashi had created for Lee, Gai heard the Sharingan-user quietly talk to their infant child.

It felt like an eternity before Lee's cries finally wilted into sniffles and whimpers.

There was a soft, watery chuckle. "You have your mother's eyebrows."

~""~

_Author's Note: So I was talking to my hubby and thinking about this picture I saw on Y!G and I said something like, "Mpreg. Gai. Kakashi. I WANT TO DO IT." Except what I most likely said was way less epic than that. She told me to go for it, so I did. This is a story where I couldn't think of a better ending… So… Yeah. _


End file.
